Stop the World I Want to Get Off

As I mentioned in my blog description, I'm using this forum as a writing exercise. Inspiration for the content will come in the form of favorite quotes, cliches, sayings, etc., at least for now. For my first post I turned to the title of a Broadway musical from the 60's "Stop the World - I Want to Get Off", by Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley.

For ten years I have carried a dirty little secret.

I want to get laid off.

OK, maybe not today, but over the past decade of my post 9/11 career in advertising I have been overcome with the desire on many occasions to run screaming from my office. I’ve reveled in the thought of the weight of the everyday world lifting off my shoulders. Sometimes when I really let my fantasies go I can actually feel the physical unburdening.

However, the reality is I’m a chicken who desperately clings to the stability of my 9 to 5 or 8 to 10 or let’s face it 24/7 depending on the role, while languishing in the idea of freedom. On days when my professional world is really getting to me the Dixie Chicks “Wide Open Spaces” plays in heavy rotation on my iPod. I’m not even really a country fan and the lyrics aren’t perfect but those Chicks do know how to embed a feeling of being carefree into my heart, something I lose sight of in the mix of the daily grind.

Let me pause to remind you that this is a dirty little secret and the dirty is knowing that this is an incredibly selfish and immature thing to wish for particularly in the economic times we as a world and my industry have faced. Countless friends and relatives have seen their career and stability vanish from under them in the form of a pink slip. It also hits close to home in literal terms with my husband experiencing a lay-off in the past as well.

I don’t take the reality of joblessness lightly and really do like my position so I don’t actually want to get laid off, today’s world can just be overwhelmingly chaotic some days. Our world has changed so much over the past ten years and we’ve all been forced to spin the wheel faster and faster everyday.

In large part I blame the unrest on the complete access to colleagues, friends, family, even strangers. By nature I’m not a phone person; that was not a teenage battle that I waged. Ironically I’ve chosen a career that thrives on constant communication much of which is done on the phone of course or these days via WebEx or Skype. And no longer is there a true end of the day or vacation. Does an out of office message even matter when everyone calls my cell directly anyway? I have a love/hate relationship with my iPhone, loving the access it provides to information I want and hating data that is foisted upon me unsolicited and at absurd hours of the day in the three screen world in which we live.

When does it stop? When do I think? How do I find much less hear my own voice through the cacophony of noise all around us? For years the answer that sprung into my head was “I want to get laid off!” in some way viewing this as an out or break from the world, ignoring the brutal reality of actually losing the job and the security that goes with that.

Instead what I want is to stop the world and get off for a minute. I want to get quiet and recentered in myself without even the slightest chance that I will be interrupted by a digital ring, buzz, or chime.

I liken it to the playground merry-go-round we played on as kids. Much like life it’s rusty, wobbly and makes a lot of noise as it goes around and there’s always some kid standing on the edge, spinning it around, forcing you to go faster than you’re comfortable with. Me, I’m the kid on my knees, head down, holding on to the rail for dear life, screaming at the playground bully to make the ride stop for just one minute. If they will just let me off for now, I’ll get back on the ride again but first I have got to see straight.

So I’m going to try to disconnect more and clear out the noise. Leave the TV off and enjoy the silence. Shut the phone all the way down so I can’t be tempted by the flashing screen or vibration when a message comes through. Reflect on messages as they come through rather than thoughtlessly reacting to get it out of my inbox. Read, write, and get to just my own voice in my head. I can’t stop the world but I can at least try to quiet mine.

Ironic given that this thought is being written in a blog, I get the joke.